• Rumor has it Chris Albrecht is being asked to involuntarily resign.

• Okay, we know this is nothing new. But watching a lady old enough to be your great-grandmother talk about giving head will never not be funny.

• Win a date with Dave Z! Actually, better yet, don’t.

• Jared Fogle used to sell dirty, dirty porn. And he only went on the Subway diet because he’s sloth incarnate!

• Harvard grad tickets going for $125 a pop. Which almost seems expensive until you remember how much tuition is.

• Ellen DeGeneres calls up ABC Entertainment Prez Steve McPherson to find out when we can all stop watching Grey’s and start watching Addison’s spinoff.

• Turns out it’s always been Us Weekly’s practice to highlight the mistakes of others, while forgetting about their own.

Original post by Perez and software by Elliott Back