If you’re anything like us, you spent yesterday evening enjoying the semi-tolerable weather, meeting a friend for a much-needed after work drink, and spending the bulk of your rent money on overpriced yoga pants because your friends swore up and down that they make your ass look skinny. [Spoiler: They lied.]

Also, assuming you’re anything like us, you arrived back home at around 9:30 or so, too exhausted to put your ridiculously expensive, but (allegedly!) ass-slimming yoga pants to any practical use, and too late to catch the televised trainwreck otherwise known as the Victoria Beckham reality special.

Fortunately, however, it looks as though we didn’t miss very much.

Victoria Beckham’s bid to woo Americans has backfired with damning reviews of a reality TV show that she hoped would overturn her image here as a sour-faced diva.

The New York Post called Monday night’s show “an orgy of self-indulgence” and described Beckham as “vapid and condescending.”

And yet, since reviewers don’t always capture that je ne sais quois of trashy faux-reality tv, our ad sales cutie, Brandon, has a couple of notes he’d like to add.

“There was this crazy lady that spoke ‘dolphin’ to her at this luncheon and was like ’so your husband makes like 6 billion, right,’” writes Brandon. “Also, she totally searched out Perez Hilton and confronted him in the coffee shop for saying she looked like an alien.”

Take that, Alessandra Stanley!

And while we’re still slightly sad that we missed the show entirely (Brandon’s version makes it sound semi-amazing!) an unfazed Posh claims she doesn’t care what the critics think.

“If people like it, that’s great,” Victoria said of the TV special. “If they don’t, I’m not losing any sleep over it.”

In other words, despite getting ripped a new one by every halfwit television critic across the country, Posh will sleep soundly tonight. Presumably on top of giant piles of hubby (and mediocre soccer player) David Beckham’s money.

Original post by Perez Hilton and software by Elliott Back