For your reading/procrastinating pleasure, here’s a brief synopsis of how The New Yorker (finally!) succeeded in luring renowned* literary critic James Wood away from The New Republic. It’s meant to be read—or, preferably, sung loudly—to the tune of “Rehab” by Amy Winehouse.

They tried to make him go to The New Yorker, he said “No, no, no.”

Yes, he was a star, over at TNR, it was so, so, so

Now James Wood, he’s no quitter

But New Republic’s in the shitter

They tried to make him go to The New Yorker, he said “Yes! For the love of God, yes! I’ll go, go, go.”

Meanwhile, asked to comment on the two departures, reports the NY Observer, TNR editor Franklin Foer replied, “They don’t raid your talent if you suck.”

Sure they don’t, Frank! And they also don’t turn your embarrassing lack of journalistic integrity into B-grade movie magic.

Oh, wait.

*Amongst snotty, elitist circles

Original post by Perez Hilton and software by Elliott Back